Dave came to Help Me Stop Dayhab in June 2021 for alcohol treatment. In this audio blog, he speaks about the extraordinary impact of alcohol recovery on his relationships, particularly with his 4-year-old daughter. See our page on alcohol and relationships for more information about the impact of alcohol addiction on connection with self and others. Call 0208 191 9191 to talk in confidence about affordable addiction treatment in London and online.
Dave: Being a Father in Alcohol Recovery
‘I think one of the guiding lights, so to speak, of Help Me Stop was to watch this little one grow up and to let her see me – not to see me in the states I was, or the states I was going to get in, or even worse, not be here at all. For that, I’m grateful. She’s just started school. She’s quite young for her intake and this is her first month. But she’s taken to it now and absolutely loves it. She’s gone in like, as I call her, Miss Congeniality. She has her little raincoat on, her schoolbag, her lunch bag, her water bottle, her umbrella under her arm that changes colours in the rain. And she’s just made up and she just marches in.
Making Cupcakes with My Little Girl in Alcohol Recovery
‘Nothing stresses me now. I used to get really stressed and I think it was more concern of where I was going to get my next drink and what I was going to do with my day. But now, I seem to take these things in my stride. Life now is so much different to what it was and where I was and where I was going and for that, I am eternally grateful. I am looking forward to the weekend with the little one, we are going to make cakes, we are going to bake. She’s desperate to make cupcakes, she sees it on one of her little kiddies’ programmes in the morning, on the cartoon, somebody making cakes and that’s it, that’s what we’re doing. That’s as stressful as my weekend is going to be.
‘I’m a Different Person’ in Recovery
‘You see people now in panic buying – toilet rolls or petrol, queueing up. Panic buying used to be last orders at the bar when the bell went in the pub. That was panic buying, That was real panic buying. You go and buy four or five drinks for your imaginary friends or sit somewhere else in the pub – ‘oh, I better get him a drink’ and you’re just talking to yourself.
‘Life’s not like that anymore – it has changed phenomenal and it’s changed dramatically for the better – it’s taken a few months, but gradually, I’ve really enjoyed it, my partner has, the children have and I’m sure even the wee one, without even knowing about alcohol, that she sees the difference in it, a different person. It’s not an angry Daddy in the morning, because she’s got her shoes on the wrong feet. Everything is fun. Life is fun, getting dressed in the morning, getting ready for school, we’re joking, we’re talking in the car – she’s talking about the Highway Code, she’s talking about traffic lights, when to stop, when not to stop and this goes on. And I just laugh. And you’re not just like, ‘shut up’, just get you to school and get you away and then that’s it, the rest of the time is mine. I look forward to the afternoon, think, ‘oh, I’ll go and pick her up.’
‘And that’s what life is like now – and you’re not thinking about alcohol or where can I go? What have I got? What’s there? You’re thinking about meal times, about the family, what would they like? Or what’s the difference between football boots and rugby boots? It’s things like that, that’s my concerns now and it’s no like, ‘how much is that? What’s that offer on alcohol? What’s that offer on wine, if I buy three of them? And how do I get rid of all my empties?’
Confidential Alcohol Treatment at Help Me Stop
If you, a relative, colleague or friend, needs alcohol addiction treatment, we are here. Help Me Stop provides intensive alcohol treatment in our London Dayhabs and via our Online Dayhab programme. Call on 0208 191 9191, speak to us on live chat or send us a message. We offer a free and confidential alcohol assessment, so you can decide whether you want to go forward. We offer affordable, high quality, addiction rehabilitation in a real world setting.